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ESL 105
The Elephants
Child by Rudyard Kipling (from Just So Stories)
In the High and Far-Off Times the Elephant, O Best Beloved,
had no trunk. He had only a blackish, bulgy nose, as big as
a boot, that he could wriggle about from side to side; but
he couldn't pick up things with it. But there was one
Elephant--a new Elephant--an Elephant's Child--who was full
of 'satiable curtiosity, and that means he asked ever so
many questions. And he lived in Africa, and he filled
all Africa with his 'satiable curtiosities. He asked his
tall aunt, the Ostrich, why her tail-feathers grew just so,
and his tall aunt the Ostrich spanked him with her hard,
hard, claw. He asked his tall uncle, the Giraffe, what made
his skin spotty, and his tall uncle, the Giraffe, spanked
him with his hard, hard hoof. And still he was full of
'satiable curtiosity! He asked his broad aunt, the
Hippopotamus, why her eyes were red, and his broad aunt, the
Hippopotamus, spanked him with her broad, broad hoof; and he
asked his hairy uncle, the Baboon, why melons tasted ! just
so, and his hairy uncle, the Baboon, spanked him with his
hairy, hairy paw. And still he was full of 'satiable
curtiosity! He asked questions about everything that he saw,
or heard, or felt, or smelt, or touched, and all his uncles
and his aunts spanked him. And still he was full of
'satiable curtiosity!
One fine morning in the middle of the Precession of the
Equinoxes this 'satiable Elephant's Child asked a new fine
question that he had never asked before. He asked, "What
does the crocodile have for dinner?" Then everybody said,
"Hush!" in a loud and dretful tone, and they spanked him
immediately and directly, without stopping, for a long time.
By and by, when that was finished, he came upon Kolokolo
Bird sitting in the middle of a wait-a-bit thornbush, and he
said, "My father has spanked me, and my mother has spanked
me; all my aunts and uncles have spanked me for my 'satiable
curtiosity; and still I want to know what the
Crocodile has for dinner!"
The Kolokolo Bird said, with a mournful cry, "Go to the
banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set
about with fever-trees, and find out."
That very next morning, when there was nothing left of the
Equinoxes, because the Precession had preceded according to
precedent, this 'satiable Elephant's Child took a hundred
pounds of bananas (the little short red kind), and a hundred
pounds of sugar-cane (the long purple kind), and seventeen
melons (the greeny-crackly kind), and said to all his dear
families, "Good-bye. I am going to the great grey-green,
greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, to
find out what the Crocodile has for dinner." And they all
spanked him once more for luck, though he asked them most
politely to stop.
Then he went away, a little warm, but not at all astonished,
eating melons, and throwing the rind about, because he could
not pick it up.
He went from Graham's Town to Kimberley, and from Kimberley
to Khama's Country, and from Khama's Country he went east by
north, eating melons all the time, till at last he came to
the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all
set about with fever-trees, precisely as Kolokolo Bird had
said.
Now you must know and understand, O Best Beloved, that till
that very week, and day, and hour, and minute, this
'satiable Elephant's Child had never seen a Crocodile, and
did not know what one was like. It was all his 'satiable
curtiosity.
The first thing that he found was a Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake
curled around a rock.
"'Scuse me," said the Elephant's Child most politely, "but
have you seen such a thing as a Crocodile in these
promiscuous parts?"
"Have I seen a crocodile?" said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake,
in a voice of dretful scorn. "What will you ask me next?"
"'Scuse me," said the Elephant's Child, "but could you
kindly tell me what he has for dinner?"
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake uncoiled himself very
quickly from the rock, and spanked the Elephant's Child with
his scalesome, flailsome tail.
"That is odd," said the Elephant's Child, "because my father
and mother, and my uncle and my aunt, not to mention my
other aunt, the Hippopotamus, and my other uncle, the
Baboon, have all spanked me for my 'satiable curtiosity--and
I suppose this is the same thing."
So he said good-bye very politely to the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake,
and helped to coil him up on the rock again, and went on, a
little warm, but not at all astonished, eating melons, and
throwing the rind about, because he could not pick it up,
till he trod on what he thought was a log of wood at the
very edge of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all
set about with fever-trees.
But it was really the Crocodile, O Best Beloved, and the
Crocodile winked one eye--like this!
"'Scuse me," said the Elephant's Child most politely, "but
do you happen to have seen a Crocodile in these promiscuous
parts?"
Then the Crocodile winked the other eye, and lifted half his
tail out of the mud; and the Elephant's Child stepped back
most politely, because he did not wish to be spanked again.
"Come hither, Little One," said the Crocodile. "Why do you
ask such things?"
"'Scuse me," said the Elephant's Child most politely, "But
my father has spanked me, my mother has spanked me, not to
mention my tall aunt, the Ostrich, and my tall uncle, the
Giraffe, who can kick ever so hard, as well as my broad
aunt, the Hippopotamus, and my hairy uncle, the Baboon,
and including the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, with
the scalesome, flailsome tail, just up the bank, who spanks
harder than any of them; and so, if it's quite all
the same to you, I don't want to be spanked any more."
"Come hither, Little One," said the Crocodile, "for I am the
Crocodile," and he wept crocodile tears to show it was quite
true.
Then the Elephants' child grew all breathless, and panted,
and kneeled down on the bank and said, "You are the very
person I have been looking for all these long days. Will you
please tell me what you have for dinner?"
"Come hither, Little One," said the Crocodile, "and I'll
whisper."
Then the Elephant's Child put his head down close to the
Crocodile's musky, tusky mouth, and the Crocodile caught him
by his little nose, which up to that very week, day, hour,
and minute, had been no bigger than a boot, though much more
useful.
"I think," said the Crocodile--and he said it between his
teeth, like this--"I think to-day I will begin with
Elephant's Child!"
At this, O Best Beloved, the Elephant's Child was much
annoyed, and he said, speaking through his nose, like this,
"Led go! You are hurtig be!"
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake scuffled down from
the bank and said, "My young friend, if you do not now,
immediately and instantly, pull as hard as ever you can, it
is my opinion that your acquaintance in the large-pattern
leather ulster" (and by this he meant the Crocodile) "will
jerk you into yonder limpid stream before you can say Jack
Robinson."
This is the way Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake always talked.
Then the Elephant's child sat back on his little haunches,
and pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and his nose began to
stretch. And the Crocodile floundered into the water, making
it all creamy with great sweeps of his tail, and he
pulled, and pulled, and pulled.
And the Elephant's Child's nose kept on stretching; and the
Elephant's child spread all his little four legs and pulled,
and pulled, and pulled, and his nose kept on stretching; and
the Crocodile threshed his tail like an oar, and he
pulled, and pulled, and pulled, and at each pull the
Elephant's Child's nose grew longer and longer--and it hurt
him hijjus!!
Then the Elephant's Child felt his legs slipping, and he
said through his nose, which was now nearly five feet long,
"This is to butch for be!"
Then the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake came down from the
bank, and knotted himself in a double-clove-hitch round the
Elephant's Child's hind legs, and said, "Rash and
inexperienced traveller, we will now seriously devote
ourselves to a little high tension, because if we do not, it
is my impression that yonder self-propelling man-of-war with
the armour-plated upper deck" (and by this, O Best Beloved,
he meant the Crocodile) "will permanently vitiate your
future career."
That is the way all Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snakes always
talk.
So he pulled, and the Elephant's Child pulled, and the
Crocodile pulled, but the Elephant's Child and the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake
pulled hardest; and at last the Crocodile let go of the
Elephant's Child's nose with a plop that you could hear all
up and down the Limpopo.
Then the Elephant's Child sat down most hard and sudden; but
first he was careful to say "Thank you" to the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake;
and next he was kind to his poor pulled nose, and wrapped it
all up in cool banana leaves, and hung it in the great
grey-green greasy Limpopo to cool.
"What are you doing that for?" said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
"'Scuse me," said the Elephant's Child, "but my nose is
badly out of shape, and I am waiting for it to shrink"
"Then you will have to wait a long time," said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
"Some people do not know what is good for them."
The Elephant's Child sat there for three days waiting for
his nose to shrink. But it never grew any shorter, and,
besides, it made him squint. For, O Best Beloved, you will
understand that the Crocodile had pulled it out into a
really truly trunk, same as all Elephant's have today.
At the end of the third day a fly came and stung him on the
shoulder, and before he knew what he was doing he lifted up
his trunk and hit that fly dead with the end of it.
"'Vantage number one!" said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
"You couldn't have done that with a mere-smear nose. Try and
eat a little now."
Before he thought what he was doing the Elephant's Child put
out his trunk and plucked a large bundle of grass, dusted it
clean against his forelegs, and stuffed it into his mouth.
"'Vantage number two!" said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
"You couldn't have done that with a mere-smear nose. Don't
you think the sun is very hot here?"
"It is," said the Elephant's Child, and before he thought
what he was doing he schlooped up a schloop of mud from the
banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo, and slapped
it on his head, where it made a cool schloopy-sloshy mud-cap
all trickly behind his ears.
"'Vantage number three!" said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
"You couldn't have done that with a mere-smear nose. Now how
do you feel about being spanked again?"
"'Scuse me," said the Elephant's Child, "but I should not
like it at all."
"How would you like to spank somebody?" said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake.
"I should like it very much indeed," said the Elephant's
Child.
"Well," said the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake, "you will
find that new nose of yours very useful to spank people
with."
"Thank you," said the Elephant's child, "I'll remember that;
and now I think I'll go home to all my dear families and
try."
So the Elephant's Child went home across Africa frisking and
whisking his trunk. When he wanted fruit to eat he pulled
fruit down from a tree, instead of waiting for it to fall as
he used to do. When he wanted grass he plucked grass up from
the ground, instead of going on his knees as he used to do.
When the flies bit him he broke off the branch of a tree and
used it as a fly-whisk; and he made himself a new, cool
slushy-squshy mud-cap whenever the sun was hot. When he felt
lonely walking through Africa he sang to himself down his
trunk, and the noise was louder than several brass bands. He
went especially out of his way to find a broad Hippopotamus
(she was no relation of his), and he spanked her very hard,
to make sure that the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake had
spoken the truth about his new trunk. The rest of the time
he picked up the melon rinds that he had dropped on his way
to the Limpopo--for he was a Tidy Pachyderm.
One dark evening he came back to all his dear families, and
he coiled up his trunk and said, "How do you do?" They were
very glad to see him, and immediately said, "Come here and
be spanked for your 'satiable curtiosity."
"Pooh," said the Elephant's Child. "I don't think you
people's know anything about spanking; but I do, and
I'll show you."
Then he uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his dear
brothers head over heels.
"O Bananas!" said they, "Where did you learn that trick, and
what have you done to your nose?"
"I got a new one from the Crocodile on the banks of the
great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River," said the Elephant's
Child. "I asked him what he had for dinner, and he gave me
this to keep."
"It looks very ugly," said his hairy uncle, the Baboon.
"It does," said the Elephant's Child. "But it's very
useful," and he picked up his hairy uncle, the Baboon, by
one hairy leg, and hove him into a hornets' nest.
Then that bad Elephant's Child spanked all his dear families
for a long time, till they were very warm and greatly
astonished. He pulled out his tall Ostrich aunt's
tail-feathers; and he caught his tall uncle, the Giraffe, by
the hind-leg, and dragged him through a thorn-bush; and he
shouted at his broad aunt, the Hippopotamus, and blew
bubbles into her ear when she was sleeping in the water
after meals; but he never let any one touch the Kolokolo
Bird.
At last things grew so exciting that his dear families went
off one by one in a hurry to the banks of the great
grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with
fever-trees, to borrow new noses from the Crocodile. When
they came back nobody spanked anybody any more; and ever
since that day, O Best Beloved, all the Elephants you will
ever see besides all those that you won't, have trunks
precisely like the trunk of the 'satiable Elephant's Child.
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