Short story: Many Moons by James Thurber
Once upon a time, in a kingdom by the sea, there
lived a little princess named Lenore.
She was ten years old, going on eleven. One day Lenore fell ill
of a surfeit of
raspberry tarts and took to her bed. The Royal Physician came to
see her and took her
temperature and felt her pulse and made her stick out her
tongue. The Royal Physician
was worried. He sent for the king, Lenore's father, and the king
came to see her.
"I will get you anything your heart desires," the king said. "Is
there anything your
heart desires?"
"Yes," said the princess. "I want the moon, if I can have the
moon, I will be well
again."
Now the king had a great many wise men who always got for him
anything he wanted so he
told his daughter that she could have the moon. Then he went to
the throne room and
pulled a bell cord, three long pulls and a short pull, and
presently the Lord High
Chamberlain came into the room.
The Lord High Chamberlain was a large, fat man who wore thick
glasses which made his
eyes seem twice as big as they really were. This made the Lord
High Chamberlain seem
twice as wise as he really was.
"I want the moon," said the king. "Princess Lenore wants the
moon. If she can have
the moon, she will get well again."
"The moon?" exclaimed the Lord High Chamberlain, his eyes
widening. This made him look
four times as wise as he really was.
"Yes, the moon," said the king. "M-o-o-n, moon. Get it tonight,
tomorrow at the latest."
The Lord High Chamberlain wiped his forehead with a handkerchief
and then blew his nose
loudly. "I have got a great many things for you in my time, your
majesty," he said. "It
just happens that I have with me a list of the things I have got
for you in my time."
He pulled a long scroll of parchment out of his pocket. "Let me
see, now." he glanced at
the list, frowning. "I have got ivory, apes, and peacocks,
rubies, opals, and emeralds,
black orchids, pink elephants, and blue poodles, gold bugs,
scarabs, and flies in amber,
hummingbirds' tongues, angels' feathers, and unicorns' horns,
giants, midgets, and
mermaids, frankincense, ambergris, and myrrh, troubadors,
minstrels, and dancing women,
a pound of butter, two dozen eggs, and a sack of sugar - sorry,
my wife wrote that in
there."
"I don't remember any blue poodles," said the king.
"It says blue poodles right here on the list, and they are
checked off with a little
check mark," said the Lord High Chamberlain. "so there must have
been blue poodles. You
just forgot."
"Never mind the poodles," said the king. "What I want now is the
moon."
"I have sent as far Samarkand and Araby and Zanzibar to get
things for you, your
majesty," said the Lord High Chamberlain. "But the moon is out
of the question. It is
35,000 miles away and it is bigger than the room the princess
lies in. Furthermore, it
is made of molten copper. I cannot get the moon for you. Blue
poodles, yes; the moon,
no."
The king flew into a rage and told the Lord High Chamberlain to
leave the room and
to send the Royal Wizard to the throne room.
The Royal Wizard was a little, thin man with a long face. He
wore a high red peaked
hat coverted with silver stars, and a long blue robe covered
with golden owls. His
face grew very pale when the king told him that he wanted the
moon for his little
daughter, and that he expected the Royal Wizard to get it.
"I have worked a great deal of magic for you in my time, your
majesty," said the Royal
Wizard. "As a matter of fact, I just happen to have in my pocket
a list of the
wizardries I have performed for you." He drew a paper from a
deep pocket of his robe.
"It begins: `Dear Royal Wizard: I am returning herewith the
so-called philosopher's
stone which you claimed-' No, that isn't it." The royal wizard
brought a long scroll
of parchment from another pocket of his robe. "Here it is," he
said. "Now, let's see. I
have squeezed blood out of turnips for you, and turnips out of
blood. I have produced
rabbits out of silk hats, and silk hats out of rabbits. I have
conjured up flowers,
tambourines and doves. I have brought you divining rods, magic
wands, and crystal
spheres in which to behold the future. I have compounded
philtres, unguents, and
potions, to cure heartbreak, surfeit, and ringing in the ears. I
have made you my
own special mixture of wolfbane, nightshade, and eagles' tears,
to ward off witches,
demons, and things that go bump in the night. I have given you
seven league boots,
the golden touch, and a cloak of invisibility-"
"It didn't work," said the king. "The cloak of invisibility
didn't work."
"Yes it did," said the Royal Wizard.
"No, it didn't," said the king. "I kept bumping into things, the
same as ever."
"The cloak of invisibility is supposed to make you invisible,"
said the Royal Wizard.
"It is not supposed to keep you from bumping into things."
"All I know is, I kept bumping into things," said the king.
The Royal Wizard looked at his list again. "I got you," he said,
"horns from elfland,
sand from the sandman, and gold from the rainbow. Also a spool
of thread, a paper of
needles, and a lump of beeswax - sorry, those are things my wife
wrote down for me to
get her."
"What I want you to do now," said the king, "is to get me the
moon. Princess Lenore
wants the moon, and when she gets it, she will be well again."
"Nobody can get the moon," said the Royal Wizard. "It is 150,000
miles away, and it
is made of green cheese, and it is twice as big as the palace."
The king flew into another rage and sent the Royal Wizard back
to his cave. Then he
rang a gong and summonded the Royal Mathematician.
The Royal Mathematician was a bald-headed, nearsighted man, with
a skullcap on his
head and a pencil behind each ear. He wore a black suit with
white numbers on it.
"I don't want to hear a long list of all the things you have
figured out for me since
1907," the king said to him. "I want you to figure out how to
get the moon for princess
Lenore. When she gets the moon, she will be well again."
"I am glad you mentioned all the things I have figured out for
you since 1907," said
the Royal Mathematician. "It so happens I have a list of them
with me."
He pulled a long scroll of parchment out of a pocket and looked
at it. "I have figured
out for you the distance between the horns of a dilemma, night
and day, and A and Z. I
have computed how far is up, how long it takes to get to away,
and what becomes of gone.
I have discovered the length of the sea serpent, the price of
the priceless, and the
square of the hippopotamus. I know where you are when you are at
sixes and sevens, how
much is you have to have to make an are, and how many birds you
can catch with the salt
in the ocean- 187,796,132, if it would interest you to know."
"There aren't that many birds," said the king.
"I didn't say there were," said the Royal Mathematician. "I said
if there were."
"I don't want to hear about seven hundred million imaginary
birds," said the king. "I
want you to get the moon for princess Lenore."
"The moon is 300,000 miles away," said the Royal Mathematician.
"It is round and flat
like a coin, only it is made of asbestos, and it is half the
size of this kingdom.
Furthermore, it is pasted on the sky. Nobody can get the moon."
The king flew into still another rage and sent the Royal
Mathematician away. Then he rang
for the court jester. The jester came bounding into the throne
room in his motley and his
cap and bells, and sat at the foot of the throne.
"What can I do for you, your majesty?" asked the court jester.
"Nobody can do anything for me," said the king mournfully.
"Princess Lenore wants the
moon, and she cannot be well till she gets it, but nobody can
get it for her. Every time
I ask anybody for the moon, it gets larger and farther away.
There is nothing you can do
for me except play on your lute. Something sad."
"How big do they say it is," asked the court jester, "and how
far away?"
"The Lord High Chamberlain says it is 35,000 miles away, and
bigger than princess
Lenore's room," said the king. "The Royal Wizard says it is
150,000 miles away, and
twice as big as this palace. The Royal Mathematician says it is
300,000 miles away
and half the size of this kingdom."
The court jester strummed on his lute for a little while. "They
are all wise men," he
said, "and so they must all be right. If they are all right,
then the moon must be just
as large and as far away as each person thinks it is. The thing
to do is find out how
big princess Lenore thinks it is, and how far away."
"I never thought of that," said the king.
"I will go to her, your majesty," said the court jester. And he
crept softly into
the little girl's room.
Princess Lenore was awake, and she was glad to see the court
jester, but her face was
very pale and her voice very weak.
"Have you brought the moon to me?" she asked.
"Not yet," said the court jester, "but I will get it for you
right away. How big do
you think it is?"
"It is a little smaller than my thumbnail," she said, "for when
I hold my thumbnail
up at the moon, it covers it."
"And how far away is it?" asked the court jester.
"It is not as high as the big tree outside my window," said the
princess, "for sometimes
it gets caught in the top branches."
"It will be very easy to get the moon for you," said the court
jester. "I will climb
the tree tonight when it gets caught in the top branches and
bring it to you."
Then he thought of something else. "What is the moon made of,
princess?" he asked.
"Oh, " she said, "it's made of gold, of course, silly."
The court jester left princess Lenore's room and went to see the
Royal Goldsmith he had
the Royal Goldsmith make a tiny round oon just a little smaller
than the thumbnail of
princess Lenore. Then he had him string it on a golden chain so
the princess could wear
it around her neck.
"What is this thing I have made?" asked the Royal Goldsmith when
he was finished with it.
"You have made the moon," said the court jester. "that is the
moon."
"But the moon," said the Royal Goldsmith, "is 500,000 miles away
and is made of bronze
and is round like a marble."
"That's what you think," said the court jester as he went away
with the moon.
The court jester took the moon to princess Lenore, and she was
overjoyed. The next day
she was well again and could get up and go out in the gardens to
play.
But the king's worries were not yet over. He knew that the moon
would shine in the sky
again that night, and he did not want the princess Lenore to see
it. If she did, she
would know that the moon she wore on a chain around her neck was
not the real moon.
So the king sent for the lord high chamberlain and said, "we
must keep princess
Lenore from seeing the moon when it shines in the sky tonight.
Think of something."
The Lord High chamberlain tapped his forehead with his fingers
thoughtfully and said, "I
know just the thing. We can make some dark glasses for the
princess lenore. We can make
them so dark that she will not be able to see the moon when it
shines in the sky."
This made the king very angry, and he shook his head from side
to side. "If she wore
dark glasses, she would bump into things," he said, "and then
she would be ill again."
So he sent the Lord High Chamberlain away and called the Royal
Wizard.
"We must hide the moon," said the king, "so princess Lenore will
not see it when it
shines in the sky tonight. How are we going to do that?"
The Royal Wizard stood on his hands and then he stood on his
head and then he stood on
his feet again. "I know what we can do," he said. "We can
stretch some black velvet
curtains on poles. The curtains will cover all the palace
gardens like a circus tent,
and the princess lenore will not be able to see through them, so
she will not see the
moon in the sky."
The king was so angry at this that he waved his arms around.
"Black velvet curtains
would keep out the air," he said. "Princess Lenore would not be
able to breathe, and
she would be ill again." So he sent the Royal Wizard away and
summoned the Royal
Mathematicain.
"We must do something," said the king, "so princess Lenore will
not see the moon
when it shines in the sky tonight. If you know so much, figure
out a way to do that."
The Royal Mathematician walked around in a circle, and then he
walked around in a square,
and then he stood still. "I have it!" he said. "We can set off
fireworks in the gardens
every night. We will make a lot of silver fountains and gold
cascades, and when they go
off, they will fill the sky with so many sparks that it will be
as light as day and
princess Lenore will not be able to see the moon."
The king flew into such a rage that he began jumping up and
down. "Fireworks would keep
princess Lenore awake," he said. "She would not get any sleep at
all and she would be ill
again." So the king sent the Royal Mathematician away.
When he looked up again, it was dark outside and he saw the
bright rim of the moon just
peeping over the horizon. He jumped up in a great fright and
rang for the court jester.
The court jester came bounding into the room and sat down at the
foot of the throne.
"What can I do for you, your majesty?" he asked.
"Nobody can do anything for me," said the king, mournfully. "the
moon is coming up again.
It will shine into princess Lenore's bedroom, and she will know
it is still in the sky
and that she does not wear it on a golden chain around her neck.
Play me something on
your lute, something very sad, for when the princess sees the
moon, she will be ill
again."
The court jester strummed on his lute. "What do your wise men
say?" he asked.
"They can think of no way to hide the moon that will not make
princess Lenore ill,"
said the king.
The court jester played another song, very softly. "Your wise
men know everything," he
said, "and if they cannot hide the moon, then it cannot be
hidden."
The king put his head in his hands again and sighed. Suddenly he
jumped from his throne
and pointed to the windows. "Look!" he cried. "The moon is
already shining in the
princess Lenore's bedroom. Who can explain how the moon can be
shining in the sky when
it is hanging on a golden chain around her neck?"
The court jester stopped playing on his lute. "Who could explain
how to get the moon
when your wise men said it was too large and too far away? It
was princess Lenore.
Therefore princess Lenore is wiser than your wise men and knows
more about the moon
than they do. So I will ask her." And before the king could stop
him, the court jester
slipped quietly out of the throne room and up the wide marble
staircase to princess
Lenore's bedroom.
The princess was lying in bed, but she was wide awake and she
was looking out the window
at the moon shining in the sky. Shining in her had was the moon
the court jester had got
for her. He looked very sad, and there seemed to be tears in his
eyes.
"Tell me, princess Lenore," he said mournfully, "how can the
moon be shining in the sky
when it is hanging on a golden chain around your neck?"
The princess looked at him and laughed. "that is easy, silly, "
she said. "when I lose a
tooth, a new one grows in its place, doesn't it?"
"Of course," said the court jester. "And when the unicorn loses
his horn in the forest,
a new one grows in the middle of his forehead."
"That is right," said the princess. "And when the Royal Gardener
cuts the flowers in the
garden, other flowers come back to take their place."
"I should have thought of that," said the court jester, "for it
is the same way with the
daylight."
"And it is the same way with the moon," said princess Lenore. "I
guess it is the same
way with everything." Her voice became very low and faded away,
and the court jester saw
that she was asleep. Gently he tucked the covers around the
sleeping princess.
But before her left the room, he went over to the window and
winked at the moon, for it
seemed to the court jester that the moon had winked at him.
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El
Cajon, California 92019 